How to Kill a Guy in Ten Ways by Eve Kellman

Author:Eve Kellman [Kellman, Eve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollinsPublishers
Published: 2024-02-05T12:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER NINETEEN

With bags under my eyes that rival those on James last night and unable to stop yawning, I look as deathly hungover as everyone else in this café. The Fork It Up waitress is different to yesterday, which is lucky, but I’m back in my dark brown wig and sleek black coat.

Last night was a wild ride.

Hugh’s body was found much quicker that I expected, and that’s because his girlfriend, his real girlfriend, had a key. Just after eight o’clock on Saturday night, she let herself into the apartment, only to find him very much deceased in the middle of the living room.

Nina only found out about it because one of the first things that said girlfriend did was update Hugh’s social media to reflect his new status: dead. Leaving aside the fact that this woman is clearly an Instagram-obsessed freak, this meant that Nina – staying in for the night to work on a case – found out about her new boyfriend’s demise by way of a tearful video on his page from someone called Charlotte. Promptly leaping into a cab, Nina had gone to his house to discover what sort of sick prank this was, to be met by a police officer guarding the door and two paramedics loading a covered gurney into an ambulance.

I learnt all of this while sitting opposite James in The Mall, Nina shouting incomprehensibly down the phone. Whether the tears were from anger or sorrow, it wasn’t exactly clear. There was also some sort of showdown between her and Charlotte in the street, but the details on that were pretty hazy as I could only understand every other word between sobs.

Downing our drinks, we left the pub after I hurriedly caught James up on what had happened – me heading over to Nina’s, and he, trying valiantly to hide his excitement, going into work. By the time Nina arrived home at ten-thirty, I was perched on her front wall with a bottle of wine and a hug.

As predicted, I didn’t need to say much. Nina spoke, and when she wasn’t speaking, she cried. It was excellent news for us both that Charlotte had been revealed at this crucial juncture. Nina was so furious with Hugh, and with herself, that there was less room for grief, and her anger – more of a volcanic eruption than bubbling – meant that it didn’t matter if my face wasn’t perfectly mirroring shock.

I slept on her sofa, and left at eight in the morning after barely four hours of broken sleep, blaming the feeding of Shirley Bassey in a text message to the finally sleeping Nina. I promised I’d be back later to check on her.

If I missed my chance at Big Dave today, I’d have to wait an entire week until I could try again to catch him having a weekend brunch. So, despite the heady mix of exhaustion and adrenaline pulsing through my body, I grabbed a shower at home, donned the brown wig, and got here for the café opening at 9:30am, claiming a table outside in case he walks past.

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