Would You Ask My Husband That? by Kathleen Whyman

Author:Kathleen Whyman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bonnier Publishing Fiction
Published: 2023-05-11T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 22

Will

‘I can’t get mine in.’ Vicky held up her Christingle. The candle flopped over at a right angle rather than standing up tall and proud.

‘Said the actress to the bishop,’ Lizzie or Lisa said. I still didn’t know which was which. They’d both given me a Christmas card, but at the same time, which was no help. And now I couldn’t give one back. Not that I’d ever written a Christmas card in my life. Sarah did the family ones, but it probably wouldn’t go down well if I asked her to do some for my friends. She wouldn’t have time anyway, although she had time for brunch with my sister. Another thing that hadn’t gone down well. Not that anything or anyone was going down. The actress would have nothing of note to report to the bishop if she lived here.

I laughed along with everyone. It was only five o’clock but I was already pretty pissed. Possibly because I’d only had a satsuma for lunch. I’d nipped into town with the intention of getting a takeaway bap from Groundworks, but had left immediately and stormed home when Tonya told me Sarah was in the ladies.

I couldn’t believe Sarah. She’d made such a big deal about being too busy to take five minutes off for me – it had been so long that five minutes was a generous estimation – but had then met Tonya. She hadn’t even told me she was going. Sarah wasn’t her usual thoughtful self anymore and I didn’t like this new, inconsiderate, version.

‘Just shove it in,’ Lauren said, which led to more raucous laughter.

It wasn’t just me who was pissed. Vicky was actually slurring. My fault for not providing anything more substantial than crisps to eat. I’d forgotten to get gluten-free ones, but thankfully no one had noticed.

I topped up everyone’s glasses up and raised my own. ‘It’s my first time to host,’ I said. They all cheered. I shook my head and held up my free hand. ‘I can’t take any praise. In fact, I must apologise. You always make amazing food and I’ve let the side down.’ I was slurring as well. I should slow down. I had a sip of fizz while I considered this. ‘So, I’m treating us all to a takeaway instead. What does everyone fancy?’

‘Indian!’

‘Mexican!’

‘Thai!’

‘Turkish!’

‘Shall we let the kids choose?’ I asked. I didn’t want to be tight, but multiple orders to multiple restaurants was going to be pricey and I’d already wasted hundreds of pounds on the pizza oven that I feared was only fit for the skip. I’d scraped away all morning, but the sodding marshmallows wouldn’t come off. I went to the door of the living room. ‘Kids. What do you want for tea?’

‘Pizza,’ they all yelled back.

Lauren gestured to the garden. ‘We could use your—’

‘No, no.’ I patted her shoulder. ‘This is your night off. I’m not having you slaving over a hot oven. I’ll order some from the place round the corner.’

The place round the corner was called The Best Takeaway In Town.

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